Choosing To be Here

Vulnerability is not a weakness and so is sharing the truth about ourselves to the world.

Its been awhile since I last blab on a blog baring my most intimate thoughts and my thinking publicly. I guess I can't help it being nervous, all anxiety and being judged for being so vulnerable out here. I mean who wouldn't right? The thought of being judged, ridiculed and whispers about (behind our backs) scares the shit of me...

Then again, I reflect back at my main purpose being here..

(Taking a deep breath) I am here because I chose to be here, to share my most unveiling thoughts with the world so that the world knows how much imperfection is it to be here, to find my voice, to speak and to tell the world the story that some of us are scared to do so, to find courage like everyone else and to create opportunity like those we hope to be.. someday.

“I am here because I chose to be here, to share my most unveiling thoughts with the world so that the world knows how much imperfection it is to be here, to find my voice, to speak and to tell the world the story that some of us scared to do so...”

I think like any other mommies out there, the moment our children were born, we were instilled with many many emotions we never felt before. Apart from the good emotions surrounding the child birth (happiness, hopeful & excitement upon a child arrival), as a parent we can't runaway from feeling anxiety, constant worry, guilt, scared and fear that we are not good enough for them.

Ask any mummy, which emotions are often strongly felt.. and they will tell you.. its the fears & guilts that often eating them inside. Shh.. its something its not talked about in the public..

Especially us, the working mommies.. We are no exception to these fears either. Silently we bring guilt of being our own careers and away from the young ones. And I too, not an exception- not excluded.. I too have my own fears.. I too have my worries & anxieties the moment I felt I want to pursue my dreams and being away from my children.

You see, I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids.. They're my world and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for them. Being a mum, yes its the most beautiful & unexplainable experience in my entire life. The rewards of seeing your child growing right in front of your eyes is nothing compared to any material things in the world. Not a Chanel or LV bag, or even 5 carats diamond feeling can ever replace the feeling being a mum. (Then again I don't mind having these in complimentary too haha).

But as a person also breathing on this earth, just like any other person, I think its our nature birth right.. that we have dreams and wishes we want to come true.. Some of us have dreams revolving around ourselves and some of us have dreams are about our children.. Tell me who wouldn't want their dreams be fulfilled?

And Like any other working mums, we desire to stand out in our career world too. Our desires often in conflict with our realities. - and in the end we have to go home feeling guilty. To some of us, these feelings are not a happy merry go round kinda feelings. These are the emotions that eat us up one bit at a time and may drive us to even sacrifice our dreams..

Struggling & Coping

The truth is, there are not many of us who really want to share to the world of who we are and how we really are inside because we are brought up in the world to share just about the good stuff and hide all about the ugly stuff. Life that was portrayed beautiful by seeing the material things, happy moments only are just deception to the eyes. What about the sacrifices that was made? The tears, the hard work & the sweat, underneath it all?

But the truth is there are quiet stories about motherhood that most don't even recognize..

Nobody knows the truth behind a mother's smile, there are endless tears..

Nobody knows the pain and hardship a mother endure..

Nobody knows the sacrifices and difficulties a mother face when raising her children.

To a mother, her strength lies in her love for her children's'

And the secret struggle they endure to bring smiles and food on the table,

Sadly not many appreciate their effort, bringing them the silent despair in the mind of these mummies..

So, if you ever read this, if you mum or the mother of your children still around, when you go home, when you see them don't forget to give them a hug. Cherish them because there is only one woman that will be the always be the backbone to your family. Remember that their sacrifice is invaluable and nobody can ever replace them. So hug them (with no words) jto show your appreciation.

Because truth is, a simple hug can mean a thousand appreciating words for them.

For me this is my place to be real..

Like I've mentioned earlier, I want to share to the world what vulnerability is all about.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness, its a strength that is already we possess within all mummies..

The strength we face, the fears we swallow and we endure.. This space is to show the world how beauty is imperfection, to find our voice, to speak and to tell the world the stories that some of us are scared to do so, for us to find courage like everyone else and to create opportunities like those we hope to be.. someday.

Welcome to our World of Imperfection <3